Our Compassion Defines Us

                             

                            

Compassion is a trait that defines part of what it means to be human - without compassion; we would walk around with a mere “what can you do for me?” attitude towards others, devastating our idea of relationships, family, community, and even survival.

Do you know what it is really like to be numb from bitter cold, hungry because you haven't had enough food, and aimlessly wandering the city streets every day worrying about your own safety and livelihood?

I didn't, either! And this is where my project began. Anyone can talk about how to help the homeless.

“We need to create more jobs!”

“We need a real livable minimum wage!”

“We need better mental health care!”

In truth, much of America is living life with a high amount of debt. Rent, mortgages, vehicle loans, school loans, credit card debt, and medical bills all need to be paid.  Most of us are living paycheck to paycheck, or just a little better.  A staggering number of Americans are said to be only one paycheck away from homelessness.

It would only take one catastrophe - maybe not even a major one – before anyone of us could find ourselves homeless. The loss of a job, a medical problem, the death of a family member, or a collapsing economy are all potential disasters.  As secure as we may feel, we are not exempted from this.

How long could you pay your debts without an income? How long before you, too, found yourself looking for a warm place to sleep?

Yet when we see them, holding a sign, asking for change, we turn our heads away and ignore them because the image of us being at the mercy of the elements and not having a secure place to call home is too difficult and frightening to look at. They are people just like you and me, who probably still have families somewhere. Put yourself in their position for a moment. Would you want to be on an urban street corner or in an alleyway, tossed aside like a bag of garbage? Without sympathy and compassion?

                              

Last week I spent an hour walking in their shoes. I wanted to get to know what it really feels like to be in a position where I was at the mercy of the generosity of others. This project was very difficult for me as I am stubborn and do not like to ask for help at all.

My sign read “SEEKING HUMAN KINDNESS”, and that is exactly what I was doing. My emotions were raw that morning. I was on a mission to see humanity without the rose tinted glasses, and I was scared that I would be disappointed.

I went through a whirl wind of emotions as I stood there holding my sign. Fear for my safety and pride for having to ask for help gripped at my chest. Being a woman and a mother, I cannot imagine what homelessness with young children would be like.  I am horrified to even consider it.

I felt angry and defeated as people drove past without so much as glancing at me.  Maybe glancing would force them to see that I existed. As long as I am out of sight, they don’t have to show compassion. This along with the humiliation of standing there asking for help in the first place was horribly dehumanizing.

   

I felt hope when someone did stop long enough to look me in the eye and smile at me, showing me compassion and giving me value with their glance. And when a generous-hearted person would stop and give me some warm coffee or food, or a few dollars, I was indeed able to feel human.

There were two noteworthy people that stopped for me that day.one was a woman who gave me food and money and asked me my name. She asked how I came to stand on that corner and what it would take for me to get off the street.  She even offered me a warm place to sit in her car for a while if I needed to rest. This woman was a light to me in this moment and left me in tears when she drove away with prayers for me in her heart.

                                 

The other person was an elderly truck driver with a long grey beard and no teeth. He pulled into the parking lot where I was standing. Something was wrong with a tire on his truck and after 10 minutes of fiddling with it he came over to me, offered me a smile, and handed me a single dollar bill. He told me that he had been in my shoes once upon a time, and that he hopes I get to a safe place in life. He told me that he wished he had more money to give but that that dollar was the last of his cash. Looking at that kind gentle man I could see that he was close to holding a sign of his own.

I began to cry again as he walked away, knowing that I just saw the face of a very good man and I was lucky to have met him. His selfless generosity despite his own circumstances showed me the common decency in humanity.  The human kindness I was seeking did in fact exist and perhaps made me a fuller human being for witnessing it personally.

I knew that I would not keep any gifts or donations received while holding that sign. I would find someone who needed it and give it to them for its intended purpose. What I did not know is that I would be able to meet and help a young family out that very evening. Ironically I found this family standing on the same corner I had hours earlier, they were holding their own sign asking for help.

I parked my car and approached them. I was able to tell them about my experience, and ask them about their story. I listened as they told me about a small business collapse, a lay off, and a current session of day jobs that never paid enough to get back on their feet. I gave them the money I had received and enough extra to get a safe hotel room for the night. Leaving them with hugs, my job was almost over.

The only thing left for me to do was to come back here and share these experiences with you so that you might also be encouraged to find a smile and a glace for those who you pass by. You never know how much they might need it. Compassion is what defines us.